Why Large Conferences Don’t Equal Real Connection... And What Smaller Events Get Right
We've all seen the highlight reels: packed auditoriums, colorful photo booths, and groups of influencers posing at large, Instagrammable conferences. But behind the glossy photos lies a question worth asking: Do large conferences actually create real connections?
Since emerging from the pandemic, everyone's been craving connection; rushing back to live events, conferences, or anything that gets them in an active room. And I'll admit, I was influenced too. Seeing highlight reels from events like Create & Cultivate, CultureCon, and AfroTech... all those smiling group photos, big stages, and photo booths. It made me want to be part of that energy. But what we see online doesn't always match what we experience in person.
About a year ago, during a very busy New York networking trip, I decided to make a social media conference my "anchor event", meaning if I ever had some downtime during my trip, I would stop by the conference and catch a panel discussion or a keynote speaker. The ticket for the three-day conference was $1,300 per person, and as I clicked "Purchase" on the screen, I tried to convince myself it would be worth it for the access, connections, and insights. Two days later, as my stomach was still turning after that $1,300 left my bank account, a post from one of the event's speakers scrolled down my LinkedIn feed with a 20% discount code. Ugh!
When I showed up to the event at what I thought would be an early time, I found a line wrapped around three sides of the block because their check-in system was down. Thankfully, the staff was generous enough to hand out refreshments while we waited and slowly trickled into the building. Once inside, I noticed empty spaces throughout the venue that gave off an awkward energy and ruined the momentum for me.
As I made my way into the main stage area and found a seat, I realized within ten minutes that I'd heard all of this information before. It was just recycled information about social media trends that we could easily find in a podcast episode, LinkedIn post, or YouTube video. I managed to sit through a full conversation before making the executive decision to optimize my time in NYC.
Throughout my time on the trip, I asked myself:
Who are these conferences really for?
Are they for people who are just starting out in the industry, people who've made a name for themselves enough to be featured on stage, or for the event hosts to make money?
We hear the same success stories and generic advice, but where's the follow-through? What happens after the event?
How many people actually stay in touch beyond connecting on LinkedIn or following each other on Instagram?
What was the real value behind this $1,300 ticket?
If I'm paying that much for access, I shouldn't have to chase down new connections. There should be built-in networking touchpoints like curated meet-and-greets based on industries or skill sets of attendees, or access to attendee profiles in an exclusive app leading up to the conference (something that Fashion Futures, hosted by Vogue Business, did very well when I attended in 2024).
During my trip, I also attended smaller, more curated events, and the difference was night and day. Smaller groups allowed for more in-depth conversations where I could actually remember their names, follow up meaningfully, and build relationships that extended beyond the photo ops. From an event marketing perspective, more intimate settings drive engagement because design and intention matter more than the total number of attendees.
Moving forward, I'm not anti-conference, I'm just pro-intentionality. If the event doesn't make room for genuine connection, it's not worth the hype or the price.
