Move In Silence... but Not That Silent

I've been using the "move in silence" method as a crutch to hide from the world. In February 2020, my ex and I split. Then my grandma died a few days later. And then three weeks later, the pandemic hit. I was alone in Seattle with no way to connect with anyone aside from social media. However, I soon realized spending my amplified free time on the internet wasn't healthy for me so I switched all of my social media accounts to private, logged off, and binged every TV show and movie I'd ever wanted to see.

During this time, I realized how much clearer my mind was since I wasn't distracted by the activities of people I'd never met on Instagram. It became my new normal. Of course, I'd check in every few months, but for the most part, I was offline and loving it. I was able to focus on filing for divorce, moving to a new neighborhood, and finding a job so I could finally retire as an Uber driver. Check, check, and check.

Unfortunately, I got so used to moving in silence that I found myself actively avoiding people and social situations. Which is crazy, because if you knew me before the pandemic, you most likely met me at some fashion event in the city. I loved getting all glammed up, being out on the town, and meeting new people. However, now, if I wasn't at work, I was at home alone. It was fine for a while, but there was a tipping point where being alone became feeling lonely. So after reminding myself that no one was coming to save me, I took action.

Last year, I decided enough was enough. I wanted to be outside again. So I traveled to Victoria, Canada for a girls' trip, Scottsdale to celebrate my birthday relaxing at a spa resort in the middle of the desert, Las Vegas to finally see Beyoncé in concert, and New York (twice), once for seven days of sleeping in, shopping, dining at expensive restaurants and the second time to attend VOGUE Forces of Fashion. I traveled alone, but I made sure to put myself in more social settings to get back in the hang of speaking to people again.

Now, there's more of a balance. I reserve my moving-in-silence activities for pursuing my personal goals, but I also take the initiative to put myself out into the world with monthly solo dates and fun travel plans. The next phase would be opening myself up to a new romantic relationship, but since I still cringe at the thought of setting up a dating app profile, that one might take a while.

So here's the takeaway: guard your goals, but not your total existence. Part of moving forward in life is putting yourself out there because if no one knows you exist, you won't be present for all of the exciting opportunities you've been preparing yourself for.